And so another year begins. Today I took down the calendar and noted how last January, Glenn recorded all the birthdays, anniversaries and death anniversaries for our family, not knowing that I would record his death this year. I will save this calendar, because it's been quite a year,and because I treasure seeing his handwriting. I thought I would feel much more of a sense of new beginnings, and although I get glimpses of that, a picture, a song or a memory can bring the tears.
Today I was reflecting on what a good dancer Glenn was. He was naturally athletic, and so amazingly light on his feet. He was raised in the era and social ethos of dancing lessons and cotillions, so he really knew how to dance, unlike me, who came of age in the '70's where we clung to each other while spinning around in a circle until the song ended. He taught me to dance and I loved it. On our wedding night, he arranged for the song "Unforgettable" sung by Natalie Cole to be playing when we came in, and we danced around the hotel room together. God, how I miss him.
One time, while on a trip out west, we went miles out of our way to return to the Cowboy Bar in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We had been there before but couldn't go in because the kids were underage. He wanted me to sit in a saddle at the bar and dance with him to the sounds of Alabama etc. And we did.
I hope I can insert my favorite picture, given to me after his death, of the two of us at the YMCA ball a few years ago. He looked so handsome in his tux. His orthopedic surgeon was there that night, and commented on how well he was dancing, considering all his knee and hip surgeries! He had this wonderful habit of trying to sing the words in my ear while we danced, but he only knew a few of them, so it came out like this" doo doo doo dee doo..always love you..doo dee doo..."
The last dance, as it was, was at Emily and Paul's wedding. Oh what fun it was! He was a little lame the next day, but I treasure the memories of laughing and loving and having fun with our family and friends.
Missing my dance partner tonight, on this journey. Glennee ...I hope you're dancing with the angels.