Friday, January 24, 2014

A perfect life

In many novels, the author arranges the book so there is some kind of closure,; and then with often a page left blank, begins Part Two. The new section assumes the reader has made their way through the first section and will understand prior references.

I am starting Part Two of this blog. I couldn't figure out how to change the title, but I have a special techie friend, CK, who will help me soon.
Please understand that I am not DONE with grief.  That's a good thing!  When one has loved fully, it marks one's life forever. But, rather than a loss, I see it now as a blessing. In fact I hope I never lose the astuteness of my emotions and my relationships that grief has caused me to cherish. Because of my grief, I look at life, and especially my relationships so much differently.  I cherish those close to me, with a new awareness and appreciation.
Yesterday, Glenn's former secretary, who has become a truly precious family friend, was visiting with my mother when I arrived to see her after school. She told me of a funny story about Glenn while  they were working together. Apparently, Glenn, a rather macho acting man, was not so fond of the bats that frequented our old church, and relied on Denise to kill them while he hid out in his office. The story goes that he would whip the  tennis racket out the door of his office for her to whap them with , and then slam the door quickly. I had never heard this story,  but laughed heartily at the image, knowing it to be true, and then  we went on with our conversation.
When she left, and my mother and I were chatting,she got rather teary eyed and said, " Oh I so wanted you to have a perfect life."
A PERFECT life. She believes she's had one, and God bless her for that belief. In many ways she has.
I imagine she sees me, her devoted youngest child, having survived a divorce, single parenthood, remarriage to someone with unexpected health issues, and now widowhood ,as having had less than a perfect life. Probably true, if you just look at the facts.
But I tried to tell her that my life HAS been perfect, damn perfect. Even in grief. And that it has nothing to do with life, death or money.  Because of the way my life has played out, I have been touched and continue to be touched by some very special people and relationships from my professional life, from our church life in Alexandria, and from other relationships near and far, past and present. That is GRACE in action. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Hence my new picture.
A perfect life.
No, not perfect, just blessed
Living part two, on the journey.