When my children were very small, I didn't work outside the home. As a hobby, I got involved with dog obedience and therapy dog training, with my wonderful Golden Retriever, Megan. At the time, it was a way for me to combine spending time with her and other dogs, which I loved, with a community of people outside of my neighborhood. The women I worked with bred Goldens, so I became familiar with the breed and its characteristics.
For instance, the perfect day to take a Goldie out of the litter is day 49. Puppies usually don't leave their siblings and mom willingly. They are usually anxious and afraid, and probably lonely. I've spent many a first night or more cuddling a newly welped puppy.
Today is day 49 for me.
I feel like those puppies. Every now and then, (okay more than that), it hits me that I really am on my own. I had such a fun day with my daughter Emily yesterday fixing up her new house and chatting about my grandsons etc. And a great dinner and evening with Emily(Paul was out of town), Chris and Rianna. When I went to bed, I still wanted to reach for the phone to call Glenn and tell him the news from the kids and what time I expected to be home today.
Today I went to Target for "stuff". Suddenly I was pushing the cart along and I got the realization that it's just ME now. Sometimes it just hits me. Boom. There is no US anymore. That is so sad.
I wonder when I will stop knowing exactly how many days and weeks it has been. When does it become old(er) news?
I spent the evening celebrating the retirement of a good friend. For the first time in 49 days, I signed the card with just my name.
I'm just leaving the litter. :). It's lonely. But just like those pups, I am anticipating that there is a lot of life still to be lived, and a lot of laughs to be had. I'm getting there. One day at a time.