Friday, October 11, 2013

Phantom limbs

The other day someone posted this on Pinterest and it really spoke to me. 

 "In French, you don't really say " I miss you"... you say, "tu me manques " which means, "you are missing from  me"...."

There is such a distinction in that statement.

I miss Glenn every second of every minute of every hour. But, as Robert Frost so eloquently said, "Life goes on". I no longer feel that desperate grief. 

I have worked hard to keep living life; new routines, furniture arrangements, a new feline family member, and even a new hot tub.

 Although it was hard going back, my days at work are full and mostly happy, spent with dear friends and energetic eighth-graders. 

My auto-response still imagines telling Glenn news from the day, and sometimes I still reach to call or email him during the day, before I remember that he is missing from me.

I feel as I would imagine  people who have lost a limb feel; their conscious mind knows that their arm or leg is missing, and yet, "phantom" pain makes them think their  limb is still present.

Most days I don't spend time in lonely grief anymore. For the most part I've started to believe my truth, and I'm creating a new life. 

But I have a "phantom limb" named Glenn.

He is missing from me, but I still feel him with me.